Yesterday I blogged about my miracles. I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but all three of my kids have two middle names. I thought today I would explain where we got the names from.
I will start with Noah Michael Wrailey. When I was pregnant I really, really wanted to name him Zebidiah. I know what you are thinking. Who names their kid Zebadiah? It had nothing to do with the name and everything to do with the meaning. Since I was single, I wanted to make his name special. The meaning of Zebidiah is, "gift from God". That was just it, at that time in my life, he was my gift from God! After many people making faces when I would tell them and my brother giving me lots of crap over it, I decided to change it. My favorite bible story had always been the story of Noah's Ark, so I chose to go with Noah. When he was born and I saw him for the first time, I remember saying, "he doesn't look anything like a Zebidiah, he looks just like a Noah".
I could never decide on a middle name so I picked two. Michael is my dad's name and my brother's middle name, so I picked it after them. Wrailey came from my great grandma. When I got pregnant I was taking care of her. That was my full time job at the time. It was her father's name. I even spelled it the way she told me to. It just so happens that when Noah was a few years old one of my cousins ran across some old papers and we found out that Big Maw had told me wrong and that was not the correct spelling. I figured oh well, I spelled it the way she wanted.
Next we have Josie. Her name is actually Josephine Danielle Faith. You see, my name is Stephanie Michelle, I was named after my dad, Michael Steven. I am the girl version and reversed. Once I found out we were having a girl I wanted to try and start a tradition where the first born girl is named after her dad. Dan's name is Daniel Joseph, so that is where we got Josephine Danielle. As for the Faith part, after 27 months of trying for her, it only seemed fitting that her second middle name be Faith. It took a whole lot of Faith to get here her.
That brings us to Maxxwell Henry Douglas. I am sure you are wondering why he has two x's. I saw it one time at one of Noah's baseball games. There was a kid there with the name Maxx and just thought it looked so cool. So I said if I ever had a Max, I was going to give him two x's. Maxxwell was my mom's dad's name. I have always like the name and it is trendy, so it fit. Henry is my grandpa Cleatus' middle name. Douglas is my father in laws name. So that is where we got Maxx's name.
Now that it is all out here on my blog, I hope I never have to explain it again! I really love each of my kids names. They are all very fitting for each of them! I couldn't have picked better names!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
My Miracles
This is a story that takes us back to May 1999. I will never for that day. It was in a time when we was living quite a crazy life. The "party" life is what I will call it. I hated who I was. One day while driving, I prayed and my prayer was, "God you are going to have to slap me in the face to get me out of this "party" life I am living." I now know how true the old saying is, be careful what you pray for, you just might get it.
Fast forward to Sept. I thought I had the stomach flu and was really feeling crummy. I was also 10 days late, so I bought a test. I remember calling my best friend at the time and saying, "if I call you crying, you know it was positive." I took the test and sure enough it was positive. I was in disbelief. I had been on the pill, so how could I be pregnant?? What am I going to do? I am going to be a single mom!
Jump to April 26, 2000. I was admitted to be induced. Not much went on that night. April 27th arrives and things get going. Around 2:30 pm it's time to push. The alarms start going off. The doctor rushes in and said, "we need to get him out and get him out NOW!!!" So after 3 pushes at 2:53pm, weighing 7 lbs, 4ozs, Noah Micheal Wrailey Jones was brought into my life. I was later told his cord was wrapped around his neck two times. Noah was my first miracle.
When Noah was 4 I started feeling like I wanted more kids. I didn't want him to be an only child. I was finally OK with and happy being single. I had decided that since I didn't want Noah to be an only child that I was going to adopt a child. I had done several home study visits and had gotten to the part where they take my profile album to show moms to pick me to raise their child.
It was June 2004. June 18th to be exact. There was a knock at my door, there he stood. So handsome, so nice, like that old friend and we just needed to catch up. It was Dan. I was really not ready for what he had to offer me.
It was only 2 weeks later when it was time for Dan to meet my parents and Noah. He came to pick us up. After they met, Noah came over and whispered to me, "is he going to be my new dad." We get to my parents house and had dinner. After dinner I was baking some cookies and Noah needed something, so Dan went and checked on him. The next time while I was dealing with Noah, Dan checked the cookies. It was at that dinner, I KNEW I was going to marry Dan. November 26, 2005 I became Mrs. Daniel Pingel. Dan was my second miracle.
Dan and I had decided that we both wanted more children, so we decided to start trying right after we got married. We tried and tried. After two years and no more babies, we decided to go see a fertility specialist. I had the appointment set for around April 1st.
On the Thursday before Mother's Day, I took at test and it was negative. Just like all the others I had taken the past two years. You would think after two years it would get easier to see that negative, but no, it was just as hard to deal with as all the others.
I had a cyst on my back that was about the size of the tip of your pinkie. Some how it had gotten infected. It was not the size of a quater. I had to go see a surgeon about it on that Monday. I went in and he took one look and said that I needed surgery and we would do it that afternoon. I was going to be put to sleep to have it removed.
I arrived for the surgery and before hand they made me pee in a cup. As we were walking to the pre-op bed the nurse said, "wait a second, this is positive". I asked what was positive, she said, "Hun, your pregnant." I said,"NO I'm not"! We took 5 tests that day and they were all positive. They could not put me to sleep to cut out the cyst, so they just did a local on it. The local didn't work. I felt EVERYTHING!!! Let's just say I scream and cried!!
My pregnancy with Josie was horrible. I was so sick and then she kept trying to come early. It was just horrible. On Nov. 17 2008 I went in to be induced. At 9:30am things took a turn for the worst. Josie's heart rate dropped below 50 and would not recover. Next thing I know, there are is my OB and what seemed like 20 nurses. I was rushed to the operating room without Dan by my side. It was an emergency, so they wouldn't let him go with me. Before I knew it, I was in recovery and Dan was showing me pictures of Josie he had taken with his cell phone. I was later told that her cord was wrapped around her neck two times. They said from the time we rushed out of my room to the time she was born was only 6 minutes. At 9:48am weighing 7 lbs 10 ozs Josephine Danielle Faith Pingel was brought into my life. Josie was my third miracle.
Once Josie was born I went back on the pill. After being on it for a few months and having it make me feel like I was going crazy, Dan and I talked and we decided that I would go off it. It took 27 months to get pregnant with Josie, we were sure it would take several to get pregnant again. So we decided to take our chances.
When Josie was four months old I realized I was late. So one day while Dan was at work I decided to take a test. It was POSITIVE. I was in shock and freaking out!! I called Dan at work and asked if he was sitting down. He thought someone had died. When I told him the news that we were going to have another baby, he was in just as much shock as I was. We found out my due date was Jan. 28, 2010.
On Jan 5th Susan (my sister in law) who was due to have her baby any day, ended up having high blood pressure. Her OB decided to induce her. It was about midnight when we got the call that Hailey had been born. I was so excited, I was an aunt.
I had been having an issue with my heart racing and feeling strange since Jan. 1st. I had gone to see my OB on the 5th and she said to let her know if I had any other heart racing issues. I woke up on the 6th and after I got ready, I started feeling strange. So strange that even my left arm was going numb. I called my OB office and they said I needed to rush to he ER. They checked me over, they thought I was having a heart attack. I was OK, my heart was good. While at the ER being check I started having contractions, so after I checked out OK they sent me up to L & D. They checked me and I had not dilated any. They hydrated me, thinking I was dehydrated. After sitting in L & D for 5-6 hours and my contractions getting worse and worse and me being in pain and tears, my OB came in and said it was time to deliver Maxx. On Jan. 6th 2010 at 5:47 pm weighing 7 lbs 5 ozs, Maxxwell Henry Douglas Pingel was brought into my life. When he was born the OB told us that his cord was wrapped around his neck two times. Maxx was my fourth miracle.
Even though I was a single mom when I had Noah. Even thought I was not prepared for Dan to steal my heart. Even thought I had waited so long, and had such a horrible pregnancy with Josie. Even though I was scared out of my mind to have babies 13 months apart when Maxx arrived. I have to admit I would not trade one second of the way my life has gone. Noah, Dan, Josie and Maxx have been worth every second. They are my miracles!!!
Fast forward to Sept. I thought I had the stomach flu and was really feeling crummy. I was also 10 days late, so I bought a test. I remember calling my best friend at the time and saying, "if I call you crying, you know it was positive." I took the test and sure enough it was positive. I was in disbelief. I had been on the pill, so how could I be pregnant?? What am I going to do? I am going to be a single mom!
Jump to April 26, 2000. I was admitted to be induced. Not much went on that night. April 27th arrives and things get going. Around 2:30 pm it's time to push. The alarms start going off. The doctor rushes in and said, "we need to get him out and get him out NOW!!!" So after 3 pushes at 2:53pm, weighing 7 lbs, 4ozs, Noah Micheal Wrailey Jones was brought into my life. I was later told his cord was wrapped around his neck two times. Noah was my first miracle.
When Noah was 4 I started feeling like I wanted more kids. I didn't want him to be an only child. I was finally OK with and happy being single. I had decided that since I didn't want Noah to be an only child that I was going to adopt a child. I had done several home study visits and had gotten to the part where they take my profile album to show moms to pick me to raise their child.
It was June 2004. June 18th to be exact. There was a knock at my door, there he stood. So handsome, so nice, like that old friend and we just needed to catch up. It was Dan. I was really not ready for what he had to offer me.
It was only 2 weeks later when it was time for Dan to meet my parents and Noah. He came to pick us up. After they met, Noah came over and whispered to me, "is he going to be my new dad." We get to my parents house and had dinner. After dinner I was baking some cookies and Noah needed something, so Dan went and checked on him. The next time while I was dealing with Noah, Dan checked the cookies. It was at that dinner, I KNEW I was going to marry Dan. November 26, 2005 I became Mrs. Daniel Pingel. Dan was my second miracle.
Dan and I had decided that we both wanted more children, so we decided to start trying right after we got married. We tried and tried. After two years and no more babies, we decided to go see a fertility specialist. I had the appointment set for around April 1st.
On the Thursday before Mother's Day, I took at test and it was negative. Just like all the others I had taken the past two years. You would think after two years it would get easier to see that negative, but no, it was just as hard to deal with as all the others.
I had a cyst on my back that was about the size of the tip of your pinkie. Some how it had gotten infected. It was not the size of a quater. I had to go see a surgeon about it on that Monday. I went in and he took one look and said that I needed surgery and we would do it that afternoon. I was going to be put to sleep to have it removed.
I arrived for the surgery and before hand they made me pee in a cup. As we were walking to the pre-op bed the nurse said, "wait a second, this is positive". I asked what was positive, she said, "Hun, your pregnant." I said,"NO I'm not"! We took 5 tests that day and they were all positive. They could not put me to sleep to cut out the cyst, so they just did a local on it. The local didn't work. I felt EVERYTHING!!! Let's just say I scream and cried!!
My pregnancy with Josie was horrible. I was so sick and then she kept trying to come early. It was just horrible. On Nov. 17 2008 I went in to be induced. At 9:30am things took a turn for the worst. Josie's heart rate dropped below 50 and would not recover. Next thing I know, there are is my OB and what seemed like 20 nurses. I was rushed to the operating room without Dan by my side. It was an emergency, so they wouldn't let him go with me. Before I knew it, I was in recovery and Dan was showing me pictures of Josie he had taken with his cell phone. I was later told that her cord was wrapped around her neck two times. They said from the time we rushed out of my room to the time she was born was only 6 minutes. At 9:48am weighing 7 lbs 10 ozs Josephine Danielle Faith Pingel was brought into my life. Josie was my third miracle.
Once Josie was born I went back on the pill. After being on it for a few months and having it make me feel like I was going crazy, Dan and I talked and we decided that I would go off it. It took 27 months to get pregnant with Josie, we were sure it would take several to get pregnant again. So we decided to take our chances.
When Josie was four months old I realized I was late. So one day while Dan was at work I decided to take a test. It was POSITIVE. I was in shock and freaking out!! I called Dan at work and asked if he was sitting down. He thought someone had died. When I told him the news that we were going to have another baby, he was in just as much shock as I was. We found out my due date was Jan. 28, 2010.
On Jan 5th Susan (my sister in law) who was due to have her baby any day, ended up having high blood pressure. Her OB decided to induce her. It was about midnight when we got the call that Hailey had been born. I was so excited, I was an aunt.
I had been having an issue with my heart racing and feeling strange since Jan. 1st. I had gone to see my OB on the 5th and she said to let her know if I had any other heart racing issues. I woke up on the 6th and after I got ready, I started feeling strange. So strange that even my left arm was going numb. I called my OB office and they said I needed to rush to he ER. They checked me over, they thought I was having a heart attack. I was OK, my heart was good. While at the ER being check I started having contractions, so after I checked out OK they sent me up to L & D. They checked me and I had not dilated any. They hydrated me, thinking I was dehydrated. After sitting in L & D for 5-6 hours and my contractions getting worse and worse and me being in pain and tears, my OB came in and said it was time to deliver Maxx. On Jan. 6th 2010 at 5:47 pm weighing 7 lbs 5 ozs, Maxxwell Henry Douglas Pingel was brought into my life. When he was born the OB told us that his cord was wrapped around his neck two times. Maxx was my fourth miracle.
Even though I was a single mom when I had Noah. Even thought I was not prepared for Dan to steal my heart. Even thought I had waited so long, and had such a horrible pregnancy with Josie. Even though I was scared out of my mind to have babies 13 months apart when Maxx arrived. I have to admit I would not trade one second of the way my life has gone. Noah, Dan, Josie and Maxx have been worth every second. They are my miracles!!!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Unforgettable Christmas
I want to thank all of you who have helped make this a special Christmas for my family. The past three months have been very rough on us all, financially, mentally, emotionally and even physically.
We have been showered with so much love, I can not even believe it. We have had people sending up prayers from coast to coast. We have felt both the love and prayers. I think that is was has helped us keep it together. Through all of this we have found out who our real friends are and who cares for us. We have even had rekindled some old friendships through out all this.
Over the past three months we have been blessed with over $2200 between financial gifts and gift cards from friends and family. We are more grateful than you will ever, ever know. We truly would not have made it during this time with out all your support.
This past Saturday we came home to our house being broken into. Instead of taking things, they left us a ton of gifts under our tree. Sunday morning after we got the kids all up and awake we opened them. There were 10 to 15 gifts per child and a few goodies for Dan and myself. While opening gifts I received a text that had a picture of the Calvary Temple Youth group all gathered around our tree. I found myself in uncontrollable tears at the thought of their generosity. This year they decided to forfeit their gift exchange for each other and instead put all the money they would have spent and get gifts for my family. I am still in awe of the self sacrifice each of them made to bless my family.
I can not get over how we have been so blessed this holiday season. I know that a lot of you have helped make this a very special Christmas. I know that this will be one unforgettable Christmas for The Pingel Five.
We have been showered with so much love, I can not even believe it. We have had people sending up prayers from coast to coast. We have felt both the love and prayers. I think that is was has helped us keep it together. Through all of this we have found out who our real friends are and who cares for us. We have even had rekindled some old friendships through out all this.
Over the past three months we have been blessed with over $2200 between financial gifts and gift cards from friends and family. We are more grateful than you will ever, ever know. We truly would not have made it during this time with out all your support.
This past Saturday we came home to our house being broken into. Instead of taking things, they left us a ton of gifts under our tree. Sunday morning after we got the kids all up and awake we opened them. There were 10 to 15 gifts per child and a few goodies for Dan and myself. While opening gifts I received a text that had a picture of the Calvary Temple Youth group all gathered around our tree. I found myself in uncontrollable tears at the thought of their generosity. This year they decided to forfeit their gift exchange for each other and instead put all the money they would have spent and get gifts for my family. I am still in awe of the self sacrifice each of them made to bless my family.
I can not get over how we have been so blessed this holiday season. I know that a lot of you have helped make this a very special Christmas. I know that this will be one unforgettable Christmas for The Pingel Five.
Friday, December 17, 2010
It could always be worse...
Yesterday was just a bad day! Maxx screamed all day. Late in the afternoon he ended up with a 103 fever. I called the exchange and we ended up at urgent care. He has an ear infection AGAIN! We go the 27th to the ENT to talk about tubes.
I had big plans for the day, dishes, cookies, pretzels and a few other things. Didn't get any of them done because of dealing with Maxx. The day was not a total bust though because I did clean under the dishwasher. It was NASTY. I scrubbed it and now it is so nice and clean. I also scrubbed the sides of the dishwasher and the cabinet next to it. We also have a three drawer organizer next to the dishwasher. I cleaned it and reorganized it,so at least I got something done.
Last night on the way home from urgent care we decided to stop at Arby's. It was 8pm and it was too late to cook. As we were sitting in the drive thru and Josie says, "happy meew" (happy meal). She just kept saying it over and over. It was the first time she has done that. I amazes me and it's sad that she knows a drive thru gets you a happy meal. The other night we ran to my parents house to pick something up, we were a few streets away and she starts yelling, "Nina's house, Nina's house". She knew where we were going. She is just too smart sometimes.
Today I received some disheartening news. One of the dads of a boy in Noah's class passed away yesterday. The boy also played on Noah's baseball team the first year Dan coached. His dad was only 38. It is just so, so sad!
Back in Oct. one of my college friends and his family were hit by a teenager on drugs. They lost their 4 yr old little girl. I haven't talked to my friend in several years and didn't even know his daughter, but I find myself crying from time to time over their loss.
Back in March (I think) my aunt Brenda lost her son Kyle. He was only 22. I didn't know Kyle very well, but still,, he was family.
If you know me well you know I am NOT a crier. I just don't cry. Some may say I have a heart of stone. When I was pregnant with Maxx I found myself crying all the time. It was the hormones. I couldn't wait to have him so I could stop crying. I didn't cry when he was born. The first time I cried after he was born was Jan 14th. The day we almost lost him. At that time, it seemed all I could do is cry. I have since gotten my heart of stone back.
I am finding with Christmas approaching, I am getting more and more emotional. I don't know why. It drives me crazy. I think about how Brenda won't have Kyle, Cameron won't have Makia, and Jeremy won't have Mick. Then I think about Dan being in the hospital and not at home, but at least I will still have him. I can still hold his hand, kiss his forehead and hear his voice. I still have Noah to try to make up jokes. I still have Josie to to yell, "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. Hi". I still have Maxx to hold, hug, smile at me and kiss.
I know at Thanksgiving I was finding it hard to be thankful. I prayed that God would give me and thankful heart, and he did. Now that Christmas is drawing near, all I can do is thank God. For my family, my friends, my home, my health. Too many blessing to name them all. For what ever reason my tears are overflowing with thankfulness and joy this year. So if you catch me crying, just ignore me. It's been a rough year on the Pingel Five, but it could have always been worse!!
630
I had big plans for the day, dishes, cookies, pretzels and a few other things. Didn't get any of them done because of dealing with Maxx. The day was not a total bust though because I did clean under the dishwasher. It was NASTY. I scrubbed it and now it is so nice and clean. I also scrubbed the sides of the dishwasher and the cabinet next to it. We also have a three drawer organizer next to the dishwasher. I cleaned it and reorganized it,so at least I got something done.
Last night on the way home from urgent care we decided to stop at Arby's. It was 8pm and it was too late to cook. As we were sitting in the drive thru and Josie says, "happy meew" (happy meal). She just kept saying it over and over. It was the first time she has done that. I amazes me and it's sad that she knows a drive thru gets you a happy meal. The other night we ran to my parents house to pick something up, we were a few streets away and she starts yelling, "Nina's house, Nina's house". She knew where we were going. She is just too smart sometimes.
Today I received some disheartening news. One of the dads of a boy in Noah's class passed away yesterday. The boy also played on Noah's baseball team the first year Dan coached. His dad was only 38. It is just so, so sad!
Back in Oct. one of my college friends and his family were hit by a teenager on drugs. They lost their 4 yr old little girl. I haven't talked to my friend in several years and didn't even know his daughter, but I find myself crying from time to time over their loss.
Back in March (I think) my aunt Brenda lost her son Kyle. He was only 22. I didn't know Kyle very well, but still,, he was family.
If you know me well you know I am NOT a crier. I just don't cry. Some may say I have a heart of stone. When I was pregnant with Maxx I found myself crying all the time. It was the hormones. I couldn't wait to have him so I could stop crying. I didn't cry when he was born. The first time I cried after he was born was Jan 14th. The day we almost lost him. At that time, it seemed all I could do is cry. I have since gotten my heart of stone back.
I am finding with Christmas approaching, I am getting more and more emotional. I don't know why. It drives me crazy. I think about how Brenda won't have Kyle, Cameron won't have Makia, and Jeremy won't have Mick. Then I think about Dan being in the hospital and not at home, but at least I will still have him. I can still hold his hand, kiss his forehead and hear his voice. I still have Noah to try to make up jokes. I still have Josie to to yell, "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. Hi". I still have Maxx to hold, hug, smile at me and kiss.
I know at Thanksgiving I was finding it hard to be thankful. I prayed that God would give me and thankful heart, and he did. Now that Christmas is drawing near, all I can do is thank God. For my family, my friends, my home, my health. Too many blessing to name them all. For what ever reason my tears are overflowing with thankfulness and joy this year. So if you catch me crying, just ignore me. It's been a rough year on the Pingel Five, but it could have always been worse!!
630
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Making Lifetime Memories
One of the Jones family traditions is that every year, since I can remember, when we open gifts we play the Oakridge Boys Christmas tape. Yes, you read that right, I said tape. That is how old it is. At my mom and dad's Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without that music playing. We ALL know every word to every song. For me it let's me know it is "officially" Christmas when I hear that quartet start singing.
On Christmas Eve we give the kids one gift. It is a pair of special Christmas pajamas. The rule is that if they want to, they are allowed to wear those pajamas all day long on Christmas. I started this with Noah on his first Christmas. I have every single pair he has gotten. I figure one day I am going to make a quilt out if them. I always have so much fun shopping for the special pj's gift!!
When Dan was a kid all the gifts under the tree were wrapped and from Santa. He said that after they would tear into the Santa gifts they would go to eat breakfast and there was always one gift on their plate. That gift was from his parents and it was always a special gift. He used to love getting that gift.
This year I think we may have started a new tradition. We let Josie help Dan put up the Christmas tree this year. She helped him fix all the branches and then helped place ornaments on the tree. I think she has told anyone and everyone she sees that, "me help daddy with tree".
She always talks about it. She loves that fact that she helped with the tree. They put the tree up over a month ago and she is still talking about it. It's just adorable. I hope it is something she will never forget, daddy and Josie making lifetime memories.
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The little things
First I have to give myself a pat on the back. I have made dinner two nights in a row now. I know what you are thinking. How pathetic is that? Whoop-t-doo! This has been one of may goals to start making more meals for my family. I think it will help our weight and or bank account. I'm just taking baby steps, but cooking is one of the steps I have to take!
My grandma Bilyeu (said blue) was the BEST cook in the world. If you ever got to eat her food, you would know this to be the truth. She passed away when I was 15. The pastor that did her funeral said that she was making the marriage supper of the lamb and when she was finished getting everything ready that Christ would return. That is how good she was! At Christmas and Thanksgiving we couldn't even sit at the table for all the food she would make. She would make anything and everything that we loved. She loved to cook! I never got to get any lessons from her.
My mom and my aunt can cook just like my grandma. I never went hungry growing up because my mom was such a great cook. They are what we call a country cook. The BEST kind of cook.
I have never been a cook. I like to bake, but cooking is not my forte. Since being married, Dan has done most the cooking. I do try from time to time and he humors me and says it was good.
One thing that we like to eat kind of often is breakfast for dinner. I LOVE biscuits and gravy. The rest of the family can live without it. I crave it sometimes. I have tried to make gravy several times. The first time I ever made it, it looked like oatmeal. Total FAIL! My mom has tried showing me over and over. Yet still I fail.
We decided that we were going to have breakfast for dinner tonight and I tried my hand at gravy again. I tried and it just didn't work. I had left enough grease to try again if my first attempt failed. The second time around I called in the big guns, my mom. I did just what she said. As I was cooking it I kept getting more and more excited as it began to look more and more like gravy. Could it be that I actually did it right this time? When I thought it was finish, I tasted it. I had done it. I MADE GRAVY!!!! Me, Stephanie Michelle Pingel MADE GRAVY!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't believe my taste buds. I did it! I did IT! I DID IT!!! Had I been alone I would have danced around the kitchen. It was one moment I will never forget! I know it's problably sad that I would get so excited over gravy, but after the year we have had, I will take the little things.
508
My grandma Bilyeu (said blue) was the BEST cook in the world. If you ever got to eat her food, you would know this to be the truth. She passed away when I was 15. The pastor that did her funeral said that she was making the marriage supper of the lamb and when she was finished getting everything ready that Christ would return. That is how good she was! At Christmas and Thanksgiving we couldn't even sit at the table for all the food she would make. She would make anything and everything that we loved. She loved to cook! I never got to get any lessons from her.
My mom and my aunt can cook just like my grandma. I never went hungry growing up because my mom was such a great cook. They are what we call a country cook. The BEST kind of cook.
I have never been a cook. I like to bake, but cooking is not my forte. Since being married, Dan has done most the cooking. I do try from time to time and he humors me and says it was good.
One thing that we like to eat kind of often is breakfast for dinner. I LOVE biscuits and gravy. The rest of the family can live without it. I crave it sometimes. I have tried to make gravy several times. The first time I ever made it, it looked like oatmeal. Total FAIL! My mom has tried showing me over and over. Yet still I fail.
We decided that we were going to have breakfast for dinner tonight and I tried my hand at gravy again. I tried and it just didn't work. I had left enough grease to try again if my first attempt failed. The second time around I called in the big guns, my mom. I did just what she said. As I was cooking it I kept getting more and more excited as it began to look more and more like gravy. Could it be that I actually did it right this time? When I thought it was finish, I tasted it. I had done it. I MADE GRAVY!!!! Me, Stephanie Michelle Pingel MADE GRAVY!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't believe my taste buds. I did it! I did IT! I DID IT!!! Had I been alone I would have danced around the kitchen. It was one moment I will never forget! I know it's problably sad that I would get so excited over gravy, but after the year we have had, I will take the little things.
508
Monday, December 13, 2010
Loving every second
Friday we met with the extended Pingel family. It was very nice to see old faces and meet some new ones. We were then going to go see Christmas lights. By the time we were finished with dinner it was 8pm. When we got to the exit they were not allowing us to turn the direction we needed to go. The line was backed up all the way to the highway, so with that and cranky babies, we decided to try another night.
Saturday was filled with hockey, Fast Eddies and a Christmas party. So we didn't have ANY time for lights.
Sunday morning we woke up to a beautiful snow covered ground. I know I am crazy, but winter is my favorite season. I just LOVE snow. I don't like the cold, but I LOVE, LOVE the snow!!!
We have decided until we sell our house and move that we are going to go to church close to home. We have found a really nice church that is about 3 minutes from our house. We all seem to really enjoy it. I was really proud that we all got dressed and ready to go in 45 minutes. Our 3 minute drive did turn into a 5 minutes drive due to the snow on the roads.
We then headed to Culvers for a baseball meeting. This is the part where Dan makes me very, very mad. He had told me the other day that I could either stay at home with the kids or if I wanted to go to the meeting to get some one to keep the kids. So I arranged for my parents to get them. On the way to the meeting while trying to work out the hand off of kids Dan asked me why I had a sitter. He said the meeting was only going to be 15 minutes. With the meeting being only 15 minutes and with the babies sleeping I told my parents to go on to their lunch plans and I would just sit in the car with the kids. Well I guess I should have known better because Dan's meeting went from 15 mins. to 30 mins. to 45 mins to an hour. I sat in the car for an hour. As the minutes went on I felt my blood start to boil more and more. I was very proud of myself though, once he got in the car I didn't yell like I really, really wanted to. He asked if I was mad and I simply asked him, "if I had told him I would only be 15 minutes and it took me an hour, would you be mad". He replied, "yes". That was his answer. I was mad, very, very mad.
We then headed to the in-laws for some football, like we do every Sunday. Maxx was standing at one section of their couch and wanted to get something from the other section. He took his first step. Without even thinking he just let go and took a step. My baby, my last baby. It was my last first step I will see. I'm so happy he's becoming such a big boy, yet so sad he's not going to be my baby for much longer. I know Maxx will always be my baby, but still. He's just growing too fast! When we realized there was no hope for the Rams to catch up and win, we decided to leave and go look at lights.
On our drive to look at lights we passed by St. Johns Hospital. They have white lights in all their trees. As we passed by Josie said, "nose trees daddy". (Notice the trees daddy.) As we journeyed on she would then start yelling, "more wights, more wights". We tried to explain that we were on our way to go see more lights. As we approached the exit there was no line. I thought that it was strange there was NO line on a Sunday night. As we got closer and closer we realized it was closed. CLOSED! What a disappointment. We were driving by where the lights should be Josie starts yelling, "more wights, peas, PEAS"!!! (More lights, please, PLEASE!!) It was too cute. We decided we had nothing else to do, so we just drove around to try to find lights. We did pass a group of homes that were all decked out and by that time Josie had fallen asleep.
I have to admit it did make for a fun night listening to Josie wanting to see the lights so bad. I now can't wait until she does get to see them! She is really proving to be a ton of fun and I am loving every second of it!
465
Saturday was filled with hockey, Fast Eddies and a Christmas party. So we didn't have ANY time for lights.
Sunday morning we woke up to a beautiful snow covered ground. I know I am crazy, but winter is my favorite season. I just LOVE snow. I don't like the cold, but I LOVE, LOVE the snow!!!
We have decided until we sell our house and move that we are going to go to church close to home. We have found a really nice church that is about 3 minutes from our house. We all seem to really enjoy it. I was really proud that we all got dressed and ready to go in 45 minutes. Our 3 minute drive did turn into a 5 minutes drive due to the snow on the roads.
We then headed to Culvers for a baseball meeting. This is the part where Dan makes me very, very mad. He had told me the other day that I could either stay at home with the kids or if I wanted to go to the meeting to get some one to keep the kids. So I arranged for my parents to get them. On the way to the meeting while trying to work out the hand off of kids Dan asked me why I had a sitter. He said the meeting was only going to be 15 minutes. With the meeting being only 15 minutes and with the babies sleeping I told my parents to go on to their lunch plans and I would just sit in the car with the kids. Well I guess I should have known better because Dan's meeting went from 15 mins. to 30 mins. to 45 mins to an hour. I sat in the car for an hour. As the minutes went on I felt my blood start to boil more and more. I was very proud of myself though, once he got in the car I didn't yell like I really, really wanted to. He asked if I was mad and I simply asked him, "if I had told him I would only be 15 minutes and it took me an hour, would you be mad". He replied, "yes". That was his answer. I was mad, very, very mad.
We then headed to the in-laws for some football, like we do every Sunday. Maxx was standing at one section of their couch and wanted to get something from the other section. He took his first step. Without even thinking he just let go and took a step. My baby, my last baby. It was my last first step I will see. I'm so happy he's becoming such a big boy, yet so sad he's not going to be my baby for much longer. I know Maxx will always be my baby, but still. He's just growing too fast! When we realized there was no hope for the Rams to catch up and win, we decided to leave and go look at lights.
On our drive to look at lights we passed by St. Johns Hospital. They have white lights in all their trees. As we passed by Josie said, "nose trees daddy". (Notice the trees daddy.) As we journeyed on she would then start yelling, "more wights, more wights". We tried to explain that we were on our way to go see more lights. As we approached the exit there was no line. I thought that it was strange there was NO line on a Sunday night. As we got closer and closer we realized it was closed. CLOSED! What a disappointment. We were driving by where the lights should be Josie starts yelling, "more wights, peas, PEAS"!!! (More lights, please, PLEASE!!) It was too cute. We decided we had nothing else to do, so we just drove around to try to find lights. We did pass a group of homes that were all decked out and by that time Josie had fallen asleep.
I have to admit it did make for a fun night listening to Josie wanting to see the lights so bad. I now can't wait until she does get to see them! She is really proving to be a ton of fun and I am loving every second of it!
465
Friday, December 10, 2010
Best thing in the world
Yesterday we went to the doctor. What a nightmare. You know, I really don't mind if a doctor is running late. I can deal with that, but tell me he is running late. I hate when they know he is running an hour behind and NO one tells us!! The appointment time was 12:20. We had to be there at 12 to fill out some paper work. We finally saw the doctor at around 2. We had Maxx and Josie with us and the was a mistake. It was lunch time and nap time and that equals train wreck.
The doctor said that we don't want a craniotomy. If they did that they would have to cut open his current scar and make a matching one on the other side. Then they would fold his face down and go in through his forehead. So the plan is to go in through his nose again. This time the ENT and Neoro doctor will be involved. He said they will be doing more on the inside, moving things around and such. The plan is he will go in on the 20th and they will put a drain in his back. He will spend the night and the surgery will be first thing on the 21st. He will be flat on his back for at least 5 days and will get to gradually get up. He probably will not get to go home until the 27th or 28th if then. So he will be in the hospital for Christmas.
I know you are probably thinking, why does he have to have this done now and be in the hospital for Christmas. There are three reasons:
1- With it being flu season and germs everywhere, the fact that he has an open hole to his brain can cause him to get meningitis. We never got an official answer, but we had 2 different doctors tell us his counts showed he DID have meningitis last time and that is what landed him in the hospital in the first place.
2- We have already met our insurance deductible for this year. Between Maxx being born, his two hospital stays and Dan's hospital stay, we won't have to pay a dime for this surgery.
3- If we wait until January our deductible resets. Dan's company is also changing insurance providers and the insurance is going to be worse than what we already have and it will cause us to have even more out of pocket expense. So we are opting to do it NOW!
Last night we went and saw Santa. I am sure most of you have seen the pictures on Facebook. I really had fun. It is one of those things that I love to do! Josie just kept crying and saying, "hold me mommy, hold me mommy". Maxx was so fun to watch. He wasn't sure about Santa, but was just as happy as could be, until he realized Josie was crying and felt he needed to cry too.
For Josie's first Christmas we got her a small Elmo doll. She was only about 6 weeks old. To this day, her prize possession is her Elmo. We have wanted to get Maxx something similar, but not an Elmo. We finally figured out that we would get him a Cookie Monster. We have been on a hunt for a Cookie Monster for the past several weeks. Last night Dan parked at Burlington Coat Factory at the Mills. He saw some cool things when walking in and he wanted to stop on the way out. While walking around he did it. HE FOUND COOKIE MONSTER!!! It is a bit smaller and as a bonus it comes with a book. The best part is it only cost $5. I don't know that last time I have seen Dan so excited over something. He was like a kid in a candy shop. It was just too cute. Major SCORE for us!!
Everyday when I lay Josie down for her nap she always has to sing before she goes to sleep. No particular song, just words to her own tune. It is one of my favorite things she does. She just takes all the words she knows and sings them. Today, like some days was her, "my mommy is the best mommy in the world" song. At one point she even sang,"I wuv mommy". Just enough to make my heart melt and make being a mommy the best thing in the world!!!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Christmas Spirit
Yesterday was OK. Maxx was so fussy all day. He has a diaper rash and I think he may be getting a tooth or two. Makes for a long day. I just feel so bad for him because he is normally just as sweet as can be.
With having so many stops to make last night and leaving once Dan go home, we decided to eat out. We have now realised that our days of eating out are numbered unless we go to places that "kids eat free". Maxx ate an entire kids meal. The boy loves to eat!
While we were eating a lady was getting her drink and spilled it. She said, "sh$#". She then noticed that we had kids sitting right there and said, "I mean shoot". She then turned red and apologized for cursing. I was really surprised and so thankful she did. Most people curse with my kids around and don't think a thing about it. I was going to stop on the way out and thank her for being conscious of my kids, but they had already left. She made my day.
This afternoon we go see the Neuro surgeon about Dan's CSF leak. I am very anxious to see what he has to say. I haven't been in the happy Christmas spirit yet. I have been in the sad Christmas spirit though. I think it has to do with the fact that everything is so up in the air about Dan being home for Christmas. The more I think about it the more it bothers me. Not for me, but for him. I know how he is really not looking forward to having this surgery again. I know it was HELL for him last time and this time will probably be even worse. Until you have been there, it is very hard to watch the man you love having to go through anything like this. Last time I never cried until he was out of surgery, then I kind of lost it. I just hate that the surgery didn't work. We prayed and prayed for healing and I just don't get why God doesn't answer our prayers and makes us go through things some times. There is a reason for everything and one day I know we will realize what the reason was.
If he isn't home for Christmas, we have decided that we are going to wait until he is home befoer we have The Pingel Five Christmas. Just have a late Christmas. I did tell Noah that if dad is in the hospital that we will take his Santa gift to the hospital and then dad will get to see him open it. Noah seemed fine with that.
I'm sure once all is said and done, things will be fine. I am just trying to take things one day at a time. I know this Christmas will be one to remember. Just another day in the journey of being The Pingel Five!
With having so many stops to make last night and leaving once Dan go home, we decided to eat out. We have now realised that our days of eating out are numbered unless we go to places that "kids eat free". Maxx ate an entire kids meal. The boy loves to eat!
While we were eating a lady was getting her drink and spilled it. She said, "sh$#". She then noticed that we had kids sitting right there and said, "I mean shoot". She then turned red and apologized for cursing. I was really surprised and so thankful she did. Most people curse with my kids around and don't think a thing about it. I was going to stop on the way out and thank her for being conscious of my kids, but they had already left. She made my day.
This afternoon we go see the Neuro surgeon about Dan's CSF leak. I am very anxious to see what he has to say. I haven't been in the happy Christmas spirit yet. I have been in the sad Christmas spirit though. I think it has to do with the fact that everything is so up in the air about Dan being home for Christmas. The more I think about it the more it bothers me. Not for me, but for him. I know how he is really not looking forward to having this surgery again. I know it was HELL for him last time and this time will probably be even worse. Until you have been there, it is very hard to watch the man you love having to go through anything like this. Last time I never cried until he was out of surgery, then I kind of lost it. I just hate that the surgery didn't work. We prayed and prayed for healing and I just don't get why God doesn't answer our prayers and makes us go through things some times. There is a reason for everything and one day I know we will realize what the reason was.
If he isn't home for Christmas, we have decided that we are going to wait until he is home befoer we have The Pingel Five Christmas. Just have a late Christmas. I did tell Noah that if dad is in the hospital that we will take his Santa gift to the hospital and then dad will get to see him open it. Noah seemed fine with that.
I'm sure once all is said and done, things will be fine. I am just trying to take things one day at a time. I know this Christmas will be one to remember. Just another day in the journey of being The Pingel Five!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
I Blame Dan...
This post is going to jump around again. You may as well get used to it. All my posts are my random thoughts for the day!!
Growing up I was just like my mom, a people pleaser. Never liking confrontation, wanted everyone to be happy, never wanted to make anyone mad at me. As I have gotten older I have become more and more like my dad, tell you like it is. Not take any ones crap, if you don't like me, too bad for you! This change started when I turned 30 and to make matters worse I was pregnant. Trust me you don't want to make a pregnant woman angry! This month I will be 33. I have found that the past three years, I care less and less what people think of me. If they make me mad, I am going to tell them about it. I do have to admit I am still like my mom in the way that it takes a lot to make me mad, but once I'm mad, I AM MAD!!! I am also finding that more things make me mad too.
None of that has to do with Noah, believe it or not. It's all to do with adults, acting like children. I know I'm probably guilty of it from time to time, but when are people going to realize they are adults and start acting like it? We are NOT in high school any more folks!!!
I don't get why I let such childish things bother me so bad sometimes. I waste so much energy and time and effort being angry and letting my blood boil. I guess I need to be more adult and let it roll off my shoulders. Easier said than done!!
I have to admit, we had a pregnancy scare. Well scare for Dan, not so much for me. I completely skipped my November cycle. Thought I was pregnant even though Dan had a vasectomy back in September. He has never gone to get the follow up counts. Part of that is because he was out of commission most of October and November. So it was a far fetched idea, but still a possibility. I am finding that I am a bit sad. I know, I know, I can't even handle the three I have, how could I want another? As I little girl I always wanted a big family four to six kids. I'm pretty sure I will never be a mother of four. I really need to come to grips with that. Some days I have, some I haven't. I am so thankful for the three I have. I thank God every day for each of them. Although some may say I am a mom of four. Some days they are right!!
Dan got home very late last night, so this morning when he woke up he went in to greet the babies. Only to find that Maxx had taken off his diaper and had poop everywhere. It was caked all over him. So, so nasty. So we did a divide and conquer. Dan took the bed and floor. I took Maxx. Josie has done the same thing several times. Noah NEVER did this. I told Dan it's because Maxx and Josie are his kids. I blame Dan!!
Growing up I was just like my mom, a people pleaser. Never liking confrontation, wanted everyone to be happy, never wanted to make anyone mad at me. As I have gotten older I have become more and more like my dad, tell you like it is. Not take any ones crap, if you don't like me, too bad for you! This change started when I turned 30 and to make matters worse I was pregnant. Trust me you don't want to make a pregnant woman angry! This month I will be 33. I have found that the past three years, I care less and less what people think of me. If they make me mad, I am going to tell them about it. I do have to admit I am still like my mom in the way that it takes a lot to make me mad, but once I'm mad, I AM MAD!!! I am also finding that more things make me mad too.
None of that has to do with Noah, believe it or not. It's all to do with adults, acting like children. I know I'm probably guilty of it from time to time, but when are people going to realize they are adults and start acting like it? We are NOT in high school any more folks!!!
I don't get why I let such childish things bother me so bad sometimes. I waste so much energy and time and effort being angry and letting my blood boil. I guess I need to be more adult and let it roll off my shoulders. Easier said than done!!
I have to admit, we had a pregnancy scare. Well scare for Dan, not so much for me. I completely skipped my November cycle. Thought I was pregnant even though Dan had a vasectomy back in September. He has never gone to get the follow up counts. Part of that is because he was out of commission most of October and November. So it was a far fetched idea, but still a possibility. I am finding that I am a bit sad. I know, I know, I can't even handle the three I have, how could I want another? As I little girl I always wanted a big family four to six kids. I'm pretty sure I will never be a mother of four. I really need to come to grips with that. Some days I have, some I haven't. I am so thankful for the three I have. I thank God every day for each of them. Although some may say I am a mom of four. Some days they are right!!
Dan got home very late last night, so this morning when he woke up he went in to greet the babies. Only to find that Maxx had taken off his diaper and had poop everywhere. It was caked all over him. So, so nasty. So we did a divide and conquer. Dan took the bed and floor. I took Maxx. Josie has done the same thing several times. Noah NEVER did this. I told Dan it's because Maxx and Josie are his kids. I blame Dan!!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Home Sweet Home
I was so excited to get to go on a second honeymoon with Dan over the weekend. We had originally talked about going to Colorado for our actual honeymoon, but for whatever reason we didn't go.
While at the airport getting ready to leave, there were a group of Muslims sitting across the way from us. It was a group of four young men, one young lady and an older man. At one point I happen to look across and notice the older man take off his shoes, turn his body to the setting sun, begin to pray and bow, right there in his seat. It got me thinking about the fact that he didn't care that he was in an airport filled with hundreds of people and several surrounding him, but he was going to stop and pray no matter what. He didn't care who was watching. It made me think about myself and my relationship with Christ. Was I willing to worship, no matter who was watching or around me? Was I willing to stop what I was doing to pray? As I thought about it longer and looked deep in my heart, I found the answer was no. Me, a christian for most my life, not willing to worship no matter what. Really?
As part of my life changing, one of the things I want to do is a daily devotion. Read the word and pray, everyday, no matter what. I have always struggled to find the time to do this. OK TAKE the time to do it. Not anymore though, I am going to MAKE time for GOD. How can I expect God to take time to for me, when I fail to take time for him....
Looking at the mountains and all the beauty around me was so awe inspiring. I found myself singing "How great is our God, sing with me how great is our God, All will see how great, how great is our God" over and over in my head as we drove through the mountains. It was just more beautiful than I could have imagined. Just breath taking!
While I was gone I got word that my grandma was sick and admitted to the hospital. They thought she was having a heart attack. Everything ended up OK, but it was very hard being so far away. Especially since I am her #1 granddaughter, both in birth order and in her heart. (Let's keep this a secret though, because the other girls don't know I'm #1). I wanted to call her, but knew that I would not be able to keep it together to talk to her, so I didn't. On Sunday once I knew she was OK I called, we chatted and I apologized for not calling and explained why I hadn't. She understood, like the wonderful grandma that she is would!
As beautiful as the mountains were. As wonderful as a time Dan and I were having. As much as I needed a break from being mommy. I still missed home and my kids. I won't ever get how someone could walk away from their kids, because after three days away from them, I could NOT wait to see them. I missed Noah making two goals at his hockey game. I missed Josie yelling, "mom... mom.. mom..mom...mom...mom", "hi". I missed Maxx's electric smile. I even missed my bed.
Having to come home two days before Dan and not having him around was not something I was looking forward to. I never sleep well without him by my side. It's just nice to know that if the kids gang up on me, he is there to bail me out, but I have to say the kids were GREAT!! Noah was such a huge help! He wasn't any trouble, and was happy to help. Maxx and Josie were, like always, a handful, but Noah helped make it all better when he came home from school.
Dan is on his way home now and will be here in a few hours. I will be soo glad to give him a huge hug and have The Pingel Five back together again.
While at the airport getting ready to leave, there were a group of Muslims sitting across the way from us. It was a group of four young men, one young lady and an older man. At one point I happen to look across and notice the older man take off his shoes, turn his body to the setting sun, begin to pray and bow, right there in his seat. It got me thinking about the fact that he didn't care that he was in an airport filled with hundreds of people and several surrounding him, but he was going to stop and pray no matter what. He didn't care who was watching. It made me think about myself and my relationship with Christ. Was I willing to worship, no matter who was watching or around me? Was I willing to stop what I was doing to pray? As I thought about it longer and looked deep in my heart, I found the answer was no. Me, a christian for most my life, not willing to worship no matter what. Really?
As part of my life changing, one of the things I want to do is a daily devotion. Read the word and pray, everyday, no matter what. I have always struggled to find the time to do this. OK TAKE the time to do it. Not anymore though, I am going to MAKE time for GOD. How can I expect God to take time to for me, when I fail to take time for him....
Looking at the mountains and all the beauty around me was so awe inspiring. I found myself singing "How great is our God, sing with me how great is our God, All will see how great, how great is our God" over and over in my head as we drove through the mountains. It was just more beautiful than I could have imagined. Just breath taking!
While I was gone I got word that my grandma was sick and admitted to the hospital. They thought she was having a heart attack. Everything ended up OK, but it was very hard being so far away. Especially since I am her #1 granddaughter, both in birth order and in her heart. (Let's keep this a secret though, because the other girls don't know I'm #1). I wanted to call her, but knew that I would not be able to keep it together to talk to her, so I didn't. On Sunday once I knew she was OK I called, we chatted and I apologized for not calling and explained why I hadn't. She understood, like the wonderful grandma that she is would!
As beautiful as the mountains were. As wonderful as a time Dan and I were having. As much as I needed a break from being mommy. I still missed home and my kids. I won't ever get how someone could walk away from their kids, because after three days away from them, I could NOT wait to see them. I missed Noah making two goals at his hockey game. I missed Josie yelling, "mom... mom.. mom..mom...mom...mom", "hi". I missed Maxx's electric smile. I even missed my bed.
Having to come home two days before Dan and not having him around was not something I was looking forward to. I never sleep well without him by my side. It's just nice to know that if the kids gang up on me, he is there to bail me out, but I have to say the kids were GREAT!! Noah was such a huge help! He wasn't any trouble, and was happy to help. Maxx and Josie were, like always, a handful, but Noah helped make it all better when he came home from school.
Dan is on his way home now and will be here in a few hours. I will be soo glad to give him a huge hug and have The Pingel Five back together again.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Taking the weekend off
I have decided that I am going to take this weekend off from blogging. I am going to enjoy this time alone with my husband and the time being a way from my kids. Refresh myself, if I may.
We are going to see all the sites since I have never been to Colorado. I will be taking lots of pictures and will post them and write all about it once I get home.
One last thought.. I have been looking forward to this time away from the kids for some time now. A mom just needs a break sometimes. By all my posts, you can tell mine has been long over due. I find it funny that while I am away from them, all I can do is think about them!!
We are going to see all the sites since I have never been to Colorado. I will be taking lots of pictures and will post them and write all about it once I get home.
One last thought.. I have been looking forward to this time away from the kids for some time now. A mom just needs a break sometimes. By all my posts, you can tell mine has been long over due. I find it funny that while I am away from them, all I can do is think about them!!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Mom he needs me to be
With wanting to try to be a better mom/wife, I figured it was time for an overhaul. Last night I went and got a hair cut, got my eyebrows waxed and then today, I colored my hair. I really like it. I feel good and look good. Although the comments from Noah saying that he hated it and I am an embarrassment to him did not help.
I was very lucky because my grandma kept the babies for me while I did my running. Noah tagged along with me. I have no clue why he wanted to go with me, but I was OK with it. I have really tried to be one of those lovey, dovey, talk to my child nice moms. I promise, I really have! However by the end of the night I found myself yelling and Noah ended up in bed after dinner. I find I get very frustrated with him. I don't know if it the medicine or what, but last night he asked me 20 times (and I'm not exaggerating), "what are we having for dinner". I told him nicely 19 times, "I don't know". The twentieth I blew up. I just couldn't take it. I lost it. I let him and myself down.
I had someone who keeps him often, although I can't remember who it is, tell me that Noah doesn't respond unless you yell. I am finding that to be true. I try so hard to be nice and give choices and all. Then I find I get better results if I just yell and start taking things away. Noah is such a stubborn child, very strong willed. I think that is going to be the next book I read, The Strong Willed Child, by Dr. James Dobson. Maybe it will shed some light on Noah. I can NOT be the only parent that has a child this stubborn.
Before you judge me and the way I parent Noah, I say Noah because he is a different breed than the babies. I was a single mom with Noah for 4 years. Just me and him. That's it! His biological father or "J" as we will call him, visited Noah maybe 10 times in the 4 years before Dan came along. I know he has deep rooted abandonment issues. He has horrible anxiety. He's so scared that he's going to lose one of us. I know I can owe that to "J". It just kills me. I don't get how someone can walk away from their child like he did.
I recently found out that Noah has two other half brothers. One is a month older than Josie and the other is about 4 months younger than Maxx. I hope and pray that when he is old enough to understand everything that happened between "J" and myself that he doesn't end up resenting me. I hope he knows we only did it because it was what was best for Noah. Dan loves Noah just as much as Josie and Maxx. I hope he looks back and sees that. I know right now things are jaded because we have to take care of Maxx and Josie; feed, clothe, bathe, change, and watch them a lot closer. He is independent. I just hope he gets it.
He may not know it, but he is MY life. I have a special bond with him because of our 4 years of just us. I have loved him longer. He was my number one. He saved my life. When I had him and after I was in such a dark part of my life, and he helped me through it.
To give you an example, I was very depressed at one point. I had decided to commit suicide. I was going to hang myself in my parent garage so when they came home, they would find me. (Please know I was at a completely different place, a VERY selfish, self centered stage in my life. I was only 22.) My parents were supposed to take Noah, who was about Maxx's age, to church with them. Something in my mom's gut said don't take Noah tonight. So they didn't. I couldn't bare the thought of him seeing me do it and then him living his life knowing that "J" didn't want him and now I didn't either. So I didn't do it. THAT is only reason I didn't do it, because of Noah. I owe my life to Noah.
I hope one day he realizes just how much I love him and all I tried to do for him. I wish I could get inside his head and knew what made him tick. Then I could really be the mom he needs me to be. I love him soo much and one day I will be that mom!!!
I was very lucky because my grandma kept the babies for me while I did my running. Noah tagged along with me. I have no clue why he wanted to go with me, but I was OK with it. I have really tried to be one of those lovey, dovey, talk to my child nice moms. I promise, I really have! However by the end of the night I found myself yelling and Noah ended up in bed after dinner. I find I get very frustrated with him. I don't know if it the medicine or what, but last night he asked me 20 times (and I'm not exaggerating), "what are we having for dinner". I told him nicely 19 times, "I don't know". The twentieth I blew up. I just couldn't take it. I lost it. I let him and myself down.
I had someone who keeps him often, although I can't remember who it is, tell me that Noah doesn't respond unless you yell. I am finding that to be true. I try so hard to be nice and give choices and all. Then I find I get better results if I just yell and start taking things away. Noah is such a stubborn child, very strong willed. I think that is going to be the next book I read, The Strong Willed Child, by Dr. James Dobson. Maybe it will shed some light on Noah. I can NOT be the only parent that has a child this stubborn.
Before you judge me and the way I parent Noah, I say Noah because he is a different breed than the babies. I was a single mom with Noah for 4 years. Just me and him. That's it! His biological father or "J" as we will call him, visited Noah maybe 10 times in the 4 years before Dan came along. I know he has deep rooted abandonment issues. He has horrible anxiety. He's so scared that he's going to lose one of us. I know I can owe that to "J". It just kills me. I don't get how someone can walk away from their child like he did.
I recently found out that Noah has two other half brothers. One is a month older than Josie and the other is about 4 months younger than Maxx. I hope and pray that when he is old enough to understand everything that happened between "J" and myself that he doesn't end up resenting me. I hope he knows we only did it because it was what was best for Noah. Dan loves Noah just as much as Josie and Maxx. I hope he looks back and sees that. I know right now things are jaded because we have to take care of Maxx and Josie; feed, clothe, bathe, change, and watch them a lot closer. He is independent. I just hope he gets it.
He may not know it, but he is MY life. I have a special bond with him because of our 4 years of just us. I have loved him longer. He was my number one. He saved my life. When I had him and after I was in such a dark part of my life, and he helped me through it.
To give you an example, I was very depressed at one point. I had decided to commit suicide. I was going to hang myself in my parent garage so when they came home, they would find me. (Please know I was at a completely different place, a VERY selfish, self centered stage in my life. I was only 22.) My parents were supposed to take Noah, who was about Maxx's age, to church with them. Something in my mom's gut said don't take Noah tonight. So they didn't. I couldn't bare the thought of him seeing me do it and then him living his life knowing that "J" didn't want him and now I didn't either. So I didn't do it. THAT is only reason I didn't do it, because of Noah. I owe my life to Noah.
I hope one day he realizes just how much I love him and all I tried to do for him. I wish I could get inside his head and knew what made him tick. Then I could really be the mom he needs me to be. I love him soo much and one day I will be that mom!!!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Joys in the morning
Those of you who know me really well know I am not a morning person. I am one who needs 12 hours of sleep a day, and when that sun rises for the day to start, I get grumpy. I HATE the morning. It's may be more that I hate to wake up.
When I was a little girl my mom used to sing to me every morning, "Oscar The Grouch lives in this house and her name is Stephanie Jones". I hated hear that song because it meant it was time to get up.
I have found I still don't like to get up, but I have 2 beautiful babies who do. Going in to get them and greet them in the morning is one of my favorite things to do. Josie is normally singing and so glad to see me with a huge smile on her face. Maxx is normally standing and waving for me to come pick him up, with a huge two dimpled smile on his face.
They get this morning happiness from their dad. He wakes up singing show tunes and dancing around like something in a musical. It drives me nuts. I normally tell him to shut up and leave me out of the musical, because I am still trying to sleep.
The babies are so much fun at this age. Happy, smiley and bright eyed to greet this grumpy mommy every day. They are MY joys in the morning!
When I was a little girl my mom used to sing to me every morning, "Oscar The Grouch lives in this house and her name is Stephanie Jones". I hated hear that song because it meant it was time to get up.
I have found I still don't like to get up, but I have 2 beautiful babies who do. Going in to get them and greet them in the morning is one of my favorite things to do. Josie is normally singing and so glad to see me with a huge smile on her face. Maxx is normally standing and waving for me to come pick him up, with a huge two dimpled smile on his face.
They get this morning happiness from their dad. He wakes up singing show tunes and dancing around like something in a musical. It drives me nuts. I normally tell him to shut up and leave me out of the musical, because I am still trying to sleep.
The babies are so much fun at this age. Happy, smiley and bright eyed to greet this grumpy mommy every day. They are MY joys in the morning!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Thank God I Got Him!!!
Over the past month I have found that we have gone out to eat quite a bit. Using gift cards, being treated and going for birthdays. I am a very observant person. I am a people watcher and I like to listen to what is going on at tables around me.
I am amazed sometimes at what I hear, how husbands talk to their wives. I don't know who on earth they think they are. They are not any better than those woman. They talk very condescending and disrespectful. I honestly don't know why a woman would put up with it.
I remember back when Dan and I were getting ready to get married. It was bachelor party time. One thing that is popular when it comes to those parties are strip clubs. That is one thing I can not stand. Men are visual, and they remember things they see and like for a very long time. I have issues enough as it is with my body. I didn't need Dan going and gawking at naked ladies and getting all hot and bothered just to make me feel even more insecure about myself.
I told him I didn't care if all the other guys tied him up and dragged him to a club that I would NOT marry him. Some one asked me if I was serious and I said, "I have no issue calling it all off it he goes" and I was serious.
You see a big part of marriage is respect. If he would have went, that it not showing that he respected me or my feelings. The last thing I was going to do was marry a man who did NOT respect me. To this day and my knowledge he did not go to a strip club.
I just can't stand how some men talk to woman sometimes. Telling them to, "shut up", "make a note to yourself", "why would you want to make yourself look like s#%$". (Sorry, I don't cuss, but I put that so you got the full picture of the disrespect.) So much disrespect for a woman who probably waits on you hand and foot, gave birth to and raised your children and God knows what else she did for you along the way.
I find I leave places feeling so bad for those ladies. What is it about that man that you would want to stay with him and allow him to talk to you like that? If truth be told she is probably God's gift to him. He needs to see her as that and treat her that way.
Even though they may not be getting beaten physically they are getting a verbal beating when they do that. My heart just brakes for those ladies. I urge you men who read this to think about how you talk to your wives. The words you say, the tone you use and know that others do hear you.
I am so glad that I found a man who respects me. I do NOT tolerate disrespect very well from my kids, husband or family!!
Dan is a good man, who teats me good. I wouldn't trade him for anything!!! I thank God I got him!!!
I am amazed sometimes at what I hear, how husbands talk to their wives. I don't know who on earth they think they are. They are not any better than those woman. They talk very condescending and disrespectful. I honestly don't know why a woman would put up with it.
I remember back when Dan and I were getting ready to get married. It was bachelor party time. One thing that is popular when it comes to those parties are strip clubs. That is one thing I can not stand. Men are visual, and they remember things they see and like for a very long time. I have issues enough as it is with my body. I didn't need Dan going and gawking at naked ladies and getting all hot and bothered just to make me feel even more insecure about myself.
I told him I didn't care if all the other guys tied him up and dragged him to a club that I would NOT marry him. Some one asked me if I was serious and I said, "I have no issue calling it all off it he goes" and I was serious.
You see a big part of marriage is respect. If he would have went, that it not showing that he respected me or my feelings. The last thing I was going to do was marry a man who did NOT respect me. To this day and my knowledge he did not go to a strip club.
I just can't stand how some men talk to woman sometimes. Telling them to, "shut up", "make a note to yourself", "why would you want to make yourself look like s#%$". (Sorry, I don't cuss, but I put that so you got the full picture of the disrespect.) So much disrespect for a woman who probably waits on you hand and foot, gave birth to and raised your children and God knows what else she did for you along the way.
I find I leave places feeling so bad for those ladies. What is it about that man that you would want to stay with him and allow him to talk to you like that? If truth be told she is probably God's gift to him. He needs to see her as that and treat her that way.
Even though they may not be getting beaten physically they are getting a verbal beating when they do that. My heart just brakes for those ladies. I urge you men who read this to think about how you talk to your wives. The words you say, the tone you use and know that others do hear you.
I am so glad that I found a man who respects me. I do NOT tolerate disrespect very well from my kids, husband or family!!
Dan is a good man, who teats me good. I wouldn't trade him for anything!!! I thank God I got him!!!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Get Over It
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family. It was nice to see everyone, and for once we all seemed to get along. What a blessing.
Friday Dan and I celebrated 5 years of marriage. It's hard to believe we have been married 5 years. Dan and Josie put the Christmas tree up, what a joy to watch. Then I took a nice long nap. We got to go to dinner at the casino buffet, courtesy of my Uncle Bill and Aunt Linda. It was a very nice treat.
While we were at dinner, we were sat at a booth in a private room that had about 10 tables in it. There was a booth of people two behind us that were playing music. At first I thought it was someones cell phone ringing, but it kept going on and on. They had their phone streaming music for the joys of the entire room to hear. It was ghetto music playing. It was loud enough we couldn't hear the music the restaurant was playing. I found myself very annoyed and getting angry over it. What made them and their music so important that the rest of us had to listen to it?? I guess I should have found a manager and complained, but I didn't.
We then went to my parents house and played games for a while. While we were there, Josie's eye started swelling and she had a fever of 102.6. Afraid it was a nut allergy we ended the night with Josie snuggled in between us for the night. Happy 5th Anniversary to us!!
Saturday came along and her eye just kept getting worse and worse. We probably should have taken her to the ER Saturday night, but thought it may get better and didn't.
Dan needed the leaves raked from the yard. With his nose dripping he could only rake and needed help bagging them. He had offered Noah $20 to help out. On Friday night they had talked about it and Noah didn't want any part of it. It really upset and disappointed Dan. So I stepped in and told Noah that now he was not going to be paid and he was going to help his dad out of the goodness of his heart. Noah was also invited to a birthday party on Saturday afternoon, so I also told him that if he didn't help dad with the leaves that he wasn't going to the party.
They worked on the yard for about 4 hours. When they came in I asked how it went and Dan said Noah was amazing. He helped out without complaining and they had fun too. So as a treat for helping out and working so hard, Dan let Noah choose a reward. He could either get $10 or the Blues backpack that he found and was going to be returned to the store. Of course he chose the backpack.
I have to admit I felt bad for not helping with the leaves, although if I would have, who would have watched the babies. So I guess I did help... in a way. I suppose a good wife would have done it during the day while he was at work, but then I still had the problem of who would watch the kids...
So it was 3:45 and time to take Noah to the birthday party. Dan took him and dropped him off. Then about 10 minutes later I get a phone call. Evidently since it was a holiday weekend not very many kids were able to make it to the party it was cancelled and no one told us. How embarrassing. They brought Noah home. I felt so bad for him. I guess I should have RSVP'd. Oh well what can a girl do. At least we go the leaves done.
Sunday morning we woke up to Josie's eye being even worse. So off to the ER we went. They gave IV antibiotics and sent us on our way.
I found that over the 4 day weekend I ended it feeling guilty. I know I'm not the best mom or feed my kids the best things all the time. I don't think I feed them ALL bad things, but probably not enough good things. So my new challenge it to feed them ALL good things. No bad foods anymore. I know what it is to be fat and feel that every time you eat that you are being looked at by those who eat healthy. I have even had people make comments about my food choices when out to eat. I don't want my kids to end up fat like me and have to deal with the guilt of everything they put in their mouth. Sometimes I wish everyone was fat (and when I say fat, not by what they think is fat, but really being over weight and FAT) just if even for a month. So they know the glares, comments and feelings that we fat ones go through. I know I am the only one I can blame for my fatness, but it is also not just as easy as eating better for some of us to lose the weight. I have 125 pounds I need to lose. Most people only weigh 20-40 pound more, if that, than I need to lose. I just wish thin people understood more how we feel. I have been thin before, very thin, sickly thin. I don't want to be that thin, just healthy. I know I am the only one that can fix this and this is really my issue and I probably just need to get over it. I plan on eating better and making better food choices for me and my kids....
Friday Dan and I celebrated 5 years of marriage. It's hard to believe we have been married 5 years. Dan and Josie put the Christmas tree up, what a joy to watch. Then I took a nice long nap. We got to go to dinner at the casino buffet, courtesy of my Uncle Bill and Aunt Linda. It was a very nice treat.
While we were at dinner, we were sat at a booth in a private room that had about 10 tables in it. There was a booth of people two behind us that were playing music. At first I thought it was someones cell phone ringing, but it kept going on and on. They had their phone streaming music for the joys of the entire room to hear. It was ghetto music playing. It was loud enough we couldn't hear the music the restaurant was playing. I found myself very annoyed and getting angry over it. What made them and their music so important that the rest of us had to listen to it?? I guess I should have found a manager and complained, but I didn't.
We then went to my parents house and played games for a while. While we were there, Josie's eye started swelling and she had a fever of 102.6. Afraid it was a nut allergy we ended the night with Josie snuggled in between us for the night. Happy 5th Anniversary to us!!
Saturday came along and her eye just kept getting worse and worse. We probably should have taken her to the ER Saturday night, but thought it may get better and didn't.
Dan needed the leaves raked from the yard. With his nose dripping he could only rake and needed help bagging them. He had offered Noah $20 to help out. On Friday night they had talked about it and Noah didn't want any part of it. It really upset and disappointed Dan. So I stepped in and told Noah that now he was not going to be paid and he was going to help his dad out of the goodness of his heart. Noah was also invited to a birthday party on Saturday afternoon, so I also told him that if he didn't help dad with the leaves that he wasn't going to the party.
They worked on the yard for about 4 hours. When they came in I asked how it went and Dan said Noah was amazing. He helped out without complaining and they had fun too. So as a treat for helping out and working so hard, Dan let Noah choose a reward. He could either get $10 or the Blues backpack that he found and was going to be returned to the store. Of course he chose the backpack.
I have to admit I felt bad for not helping with the leaves, although if I would have, who would have watched the babies. So I guess I did help... in a way. I suppose a good wife would have done it during the day while he was at work, but then I still had the problem of who would watch the kids...
So it was 3:45 and time to take Noah to the birthday party. Dan took him and dropped him off. Then about 10 minutes later I get a phone call. Evidently since it was a holiday weekend not very many kids were able to make it to the party it was cancelled and no one told us. How embarrassing. They brought Noah home. I felt so bad for him. I guess I should have RSVP'd. Oh well what can a girl do. At least we go the leaves done.
Sunday morning we woke up to Josie's eye being even worse. So off to the ER we went. They gave IV antibiotics and sent us on our way.
I found that over the 4 day weekend I ended it feeling guilty. I know I'm not the best mom or feed my kids the best things all the time. I don't think I feed them ALL bad things, but probably not enough good things. So my new challenge it to feed them ALL good things. No bad foods anymore. I know what it is to be fat and feel that every time you eat that you are being looked at by those who eat healthy. I have even had people make comments about my food choices when out to eat. I don't want my kids to end up fat like me and have to deal with the guilt of everything they put in their mouth. Sometimes I wish everyone was fat (and when I say fat, not by what they think is fat, but really being over weight and FAT) just if even for a month. So they know the glares, comments and feelings that we fat ones go through. I know I am the only one I can blame for my fatness, but it is also not just as easy as eating better for some of us to lose the weight. I have 125 pounds I need to lose. Most people only weigh 20-40 pound more, if that, than I need to lose. I just wish thin people understood more how we feel. I have been thin before, very thin, sickly thin. I don't want to be that thin, just healthy. I know I am the only one that can fix this and this is really my issue and I probably just need to get over it. I plan on eating better and making better food choices for me and my kids....
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Trying to be Thankful....
Wednesday I did great. I got all of the laundry folded and put away. I also did the dishes and cleaned up. I was very pleased. Job well done, ME!!!
I got a call around noon from Dan's ENT. The results came back from his nose drippings sample we had taken in on Monday. It was positive for CSF (cerebral spinal fluid). He is going to have to have surgery again. I found this news a hard pill to swallow. After all that we had been through this year, I just could not get over the fact that it had not heal. God did NOT hear our prayers and cries and heal him. I just didn't understand this. I found myself angry at God. Wanting to yell at him and tell him off. I found I was having a hard time being "thankful" this year. Why would all this be happening to me and MY family. We are good people, trying to live good lives, trying to do good. It just seems that bad, after bad, after bad keeps happening to us. WHEN WILL THIS END???
Thursday came long and it was Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, are you kidding me? What did I have to be thankful for? It was time for prayer and my dad asked what we were thankful for. I had to think a while, then it dawned on me. I did have Maxx this year, yes he almost died, but he didn't. I still had him to hold in my arms, kiss and hug. You see 9 months ago my aunt Brenda lost her 22 yr old son. She can no longer talk to, kiss or hug him. It just hit me that in Jan I could have understood her pain, but God spared Maxx. I know it's been a rough year on my household, but not even near as rough as hers. So what do I really have to be mad at God for, NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING. He has blessed me beyond measure this year, he gave me Maxx and allowed me to keep him. For that matter he allowed me to keep Noah, Josie and Dan for another year.
Even though Thanksgiving is over, try to be thankful in all things, everyday. That is my new challenge, to find the good in everything. No matter how bad things are in your life or your household, things can always be worse. Be thankful you have a family, home, food on your table, a job to go to. We are all blessed beyond measure. I know I am and I have so many things to be thankful for! I should have been spending my anger energy and praying instead, thanking God I still had Dan, and that he has not gotten sick from the leak.
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God's for you in Jesus Christ
1 Thessalonians 5:18
I got a call around noon from Dan's ENT. The results came back from his nose drippings sample we had taken in on Monday. It was positive for CSF (cerebral spinal fluid). He is going to have to have surgery again. I found this news a hard pill to swallow. After all that we had been through this year, I just could not get over the fact that it had not heal. God did NOT hear our prayers and cries and heal him. I just didn't understand this. I found myself angry at God. Wanting to yell at him and tell him off. I found I was having a hard time being "thankful" this year. Why would all this be happening to me and MY family. We are good people, trying to live good lives, trying to do good. It just seems that bad, after bad, after bad keeps happening to us. WHEN WILL THIS END???
Thursday came long and it was Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, are you kidding me? What did I have to be thankful for? It was time for prayer and my dad asked what we were thankful for. I had to think a while, then it dawned on me. I did have Maxx this year, yes he almost died, but he didn't. I still had him to hold in my arms, kiss and hug. You see 9 months ago my aunt Brenda lost her 22 yr old son. She can no longer talk to, kiss or hug him. It just hit me that in Jan I could have understood her pain, but God spared Maxx. I know it's been a rough year on my household, but not even near as rough as hers. So what do I really have to be mad at God for, NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING. He has blessed me beyond measure this year, he gave me Maxx and allowed me to keep him. For that matter he allowed me to keep Noah, Josie and Dan for another year.
Even though Thanksgiving is over, try to be thankful in all things, everyday. That is my new challenge, to find the good in everything. No matter how bad things are in your life or your household, things can always be worse. Be thankful you have a family, home, food on your table, a job to go to. We are all blessed beyond measure. I know I am and I have so many things to be thankful for! I should have been spending my anger energy and praying instead, thanking God I still had Dan, and that he has not gotten sick from the leak.
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God's for you in Jesus Christ
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
A.D.D. Much???
I apologize for today's post, it' a bunch of random thoughts!!! So, bare with me. I have A.D.D. so deal!!! ;)
My day yesterday was almost a bust! I didn't get to do all the house work I wanted to do, but I did get some clothes folded. In my book that is better than nothing! I ended up having to take Maxx the doctor. He was sooooo fussy. He was my monster of the day. The poor baby had a reason to be a monster though, ends up he has a bad ear infection in his right ear.
Since I was out in St. Charles with the babies (that is where our peds doctor's office is) I figured I should go ahead and get Josie's 2 year pictures taken. Boy was that fun. She would not smile, stand still or cooperate. I must be insane to think that a 2 year old would want to cooperate. We did get a few good ones, so we called it quits and I got to choose from 3 that turned out. I am very happy with the one we got, after all the trouble. So, I really can't complain about it.
With some help from the WONDERFUL Smith family, we (Dan, Noah and I) got to get see the new Harry Potter movie. Let me just say that I am sooo thankful that God gave me cute and happy babies for others to love also! I also have to say that the only way we were able to go to the movies is because it was only $5 each, plus I don't know the last time we went to a movie. I think we had a gift card too.
I thought the movie was going to be a disaster. There are always these games at the theater that Dan and Noah like to play, where you have to hit on a spot and then you get that prize.I thank that's what they have to do, I have never paid attention. They always like to try for the big prize. They always fail. Well Dan gave Noah one dollar to try. They lost and that ended up in Noah begging for more money to try. Which ended up in Dan yelling at Noah in the middle of the theater. I was gone to the potty, just to return to this. So I stepped in and told Noah, dad said NO, end of story. Noah likes to argue, so some how Dan always ends up arguing with him. That is one thing that drives me CRAZY. So I normally have to step in and end it. Dan doesn't mean to, he just wants Noah to understand and Noah never does. Then Noah stomped off, sat and sulked because he didn't get his way and we are the worst parents in the world not giving him $100 to play the game and win the prize. I then told Noah, "this is the last movie we are going to bring you to, if this is how you are going to act". I walked away and after a minute or two he seemed OK. We then go to get seats and Noah decided to sit 10 seats away from us cool people. The just before the movie started, I don't know what happened, but he decided he wanted to sit next to dad. So we enjoyed the movie, the three of us all together in a row. I have to admit, it was kind of nice.
Today I have a ton of laundry to fold and put away. Dan said, "folding and putting away the laundry is your task for today". I think I have about 6 loads to do. This should be fun!
I have found that I have the kids on a schedule. We get up at about 8:30. Maxx gets a bottle and Josie gets her cereal. They both love to watch Sesame Street while eating. Once they are done with breakfast we play and around 10:30 or so, if they last that long, it's nap time. Now I know a lot of moms do extra work during nap time, but not me. I take nap time as ME time. It's the only time of the day when it is just ME! Some moms get up early or stay up late and I can't. I stay up late with Dan. He used to complain all the time that I would go to bed too early, so I started staying up with him. I am one who needs lots of sleep so, I don't get up until I have to.
I got a book 2 years ago for Mother's Day and I have not gotten to read much of it. I really don't like to read. I have a hard time reading because I am dyslexic so I just don't read. I did however find the book on iTunes so I bought it and am going to start taking my ME time to listen/read along with my book. I can't wait!!! I am going to start on Monday.
That takes us to lunch. After lunch we have play time and then it's time for Noah and daddy to get home.
I have always wanted to be that mom who feeds her family breakfast at the table every morning. If I did that we would all have to get up at 6:30 in time for Dan to eat before he leaves for work. The babies are always still sleeping. I mean really who wants to wake a sleeping baby??!!?? For that matter, Noah gets free breakfast at school every morning. Maybe once Noah goes to middle school I will try. If I would do that though, I would have to go to bed earlier and then Dan would complain that I go to bed to early. So it's either stay up with him or get up and make him breakfast. I can't do both. I would be a crab all the time, and that's not good for any of us.
My day yesterday was almost a bust! I didn't get to do all the house work I wanted to do, but I did get some clothes folded. In my book that is better than nothing! I ended up having to take Maxx the doctor. He was sooooo fussy. He was my monster of the day. The poor baby had a reason to be a monster though, ends up he has a bad ear infection in his right ear.
Since I was out in St. Charles with the babies (that is where our peds doctor's office is) I figured I should go ahead and get Josie's 2 year pictures taken. Boy was that fun. She would not smile, stand still or cooperate. I must be insane to think that a 2 year old would want to cooperate. We did get a few good ones, so we called it quits and I got to choose from 3 that turned out. I am very happy with the one we got, after all the trouble. So, I really can't complain about it.
With some help from the WONDERFUL Smith family, we (Dan, Noah and I) got to get see the new Harry Potter movie. Let me just say that I am sooo thankful that God gave me cute and happy babies for others to love also! I also have to say that the only way we were able to go to the movies is because it was only $5 each, plus I don't know the last time we went to a movie. I think we had a gift card too.
I thought the movie was going to be a disaster. There are always these games at the theater that Dan and Noah like to play, where you have to hit on a spot and then you get that prize.I thank that's what they have to do, I have never paid attention. They always like to try for the big prize. They always fail. Well Dan gave Noah one dollar to try. They lost and that ended up in Noah begging for more money to try. Which ended up in Dan yelling at Noah in the middle of the theater. I was gone to the potty, just to return to this. So I stepped in and told Noah, dad said NO, end of story. Noah likes to argue, so some how Dan always ends up arguing with him. That is one thing that drives me CRAZY. So I normally have to step in and end it. Dan doesn't mean to, he just wants Noah to understand and Noah never does. Then Noah stomped off, sat and sulked because he didn't get his way and we are the worst parents in the world not giving him $100 to play the game and win the prize. I then told Noah, "this is the last movie we are going to bring you to, if this is how you are going to act". I walked away and after a minute or two he seemed OK. We then go to get seats and Noah decided to sit 10 seats away from us cool people. The just before the movie started, I don't know what happened, but he decided he wanted to sit next to dad. So we enjoyed the movie, the three of us all together in a row. I have to admit, it was kind of nice.
Today I have a ton of laundry to fold and put away. Dan said, "folding and putting away the laundry is your task for today". I think I have about 6 loads to do. This should be fun!
I have found that I have the kids on a schedule. We get up at about 8:30. Maxx gets a bottle and Josie gets her cereal. They both love to watch Sesame Street while eating. Once they are done with breakfast we play and around 10:30 or so, if they last that long, it's nap time. Now I know a lot of moms do extra work during nap time, but not me. I take nap time as ME time. It's the only time of the day when it is just ME! Some moms get up early or stay up late and I can't. I stay up late with Dan. He used to complain all the time that I would go to bed too early, so I started staying up with him. I am one who needs lots of sleep so, I don't get up until I have to.
I got a book 2 years ago for Mother's Day and I have not gotten to read much of it. I really don't like to read. I have a hard time reading because I am dyslexic so I just don't read. I did however find the book on iTunes so I bought it and am going to start taking my ME time to listen/read along with my book. I can't wait!!! I am going to start on Monday.
That takes us to lunch. After lunch we have play time and then it's time for Noah and daddy to get home.
I have always wanted to be that mom who feeds her family breakfast at the table every morning. If I did that we would all have to get up at 6:30 in time for Dan to eat before he leaves for work. The babies are always still sleeping. I mean really who wants to wake a sleeping baby??!!?? For that matter, Noah gets free breakfast at school every morning. Maybe once Noah goes to middle school I will try. If I would do that though, I would have to go to bed earlier and then Dan would complain that I go to bed to early. So it's either stay up with him or get up and make him breakfast. I can't do both. I would be a crab all the time, and that's not good for any of us.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
No Surprise...
This all goes back to Friday. We dropped the kids off at the in-laws. About 10 minutes later I get a call from my mother-in-law, Noah has gotten into the stash of not yet wrapped Christmas gifts. I told her if she wanted, take the gifts that he saw back to the store. I was told by a few people "that is too harsh". I knew I wasn't going to be seeing Noah until Sunday, so I had some time to "cool down" and think about what I wanted to say to him.
This takes us to Sunday. Dan started talking about wanting to decorate for Christmas and with the potential of the leak (in his head) not being fixed I didn't want him to carry anything up stairs. So I decided to surprise him and decorate the house myself. Thinking that he would be overjoyed to come home and have the house be all "Christmasy". I had it all worked out to do on Wednesday. Our friend Helen and my dad where both going to come and help. I had it all figured out. I was soo excited it was going to be a grand surprise.
Sunday evening I took some time with Noah and had a talk with him. I explained that he didn't need to be snooping around for gifts. If something was covered up then he was not supposed to be looking at it. If he accidentally found something to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT and act surprised when it was given as a gift. And if I found out that he had been snooping at any ones house, then the gifts he found would go back to the store. That was his ONE warning on the subject. I was very proud of myself. I was very nice about it all. I did you a stern voice, but no yelling. Job well done, ME!
Now we are at Monday. I did just what I said I would do in my first blog post. I did some laundry. (The reason I never did laundry in the first place was because of the steps. I'm fat and have bad knees and the steps seem steep and narrow to me, so I don't like to use them. I generally don't go down stairs for ANYTHING! We had planned that once we moved and had main floor laundry I would then take it over.) Dan read my post yesterday and said he did not mind doing the laundry, so I will do loads as I can. I will fold it all and put it away. I had gone down and done 2 loads and folded what needed to be folded, so I was feeling pretty good! I also had unloaded the dishwasher and re-loaded it so the sink was empty when Dan came home. I had made plans to make dinner until Dan reminded me that we were going to make the Auntie Anne's Pretzel Kit with Noah.
Noah came home from school around 4 and asked to play out side for a bit. I said that was fine. When he was putting on his shoes and I asked him how his day went. He said, "fine". I figured that would be his answer so I asked if anything good happened at school, "no" and if anything bad happened, "no". The he asked, "mom, why are you asking"? "Just because I wanted to know how your day was". Noah, "Ok, you are acting all suspicious". I laughed.
After playing outside for about 30 mins he came in and asked, "What is that Blues back pack in the garage for"? I calmly told him it was a Christmas gift and asked him what was he doing snooping around. Keep in mind we had JUST talked about this the night before. I my mind I pictured myself yelling and screaming and steam blowing out my ears, but I was very nice about it all. He said that he was not snooping. After talking to Dan and doing some investigation, he had to have been snooping to have found it. So he was sent to his room to clean it and for the evening for lying. If there is ONE thing I DO NOT tolerate, it is lying!!!! I even had a nice calm, talk with him, set the timer and gave him 10 minutes to think about it and fess up. He still insisted he was telling the truth. The one good thing was that his room got mostly clean! He did however miss out on the pretzels (we did not make them, saving it for another night) and the movie we had planned on watching with him.
Dan came home and confirmed that Noah was snooping. He then went down stairs to rotate some laundry and took for ever to do. I went and check and he was down stairs moving Christmas boxes. I asked why he was doing that. (He had made plans for his mom to come help bring them up, but I had told her to make an excuse not to be able to. So she did and was going to be coming on Wednesday instead.) I asked where he thought the tree should go, since we were on the topic of Christmas decorations. He then asked who was going to be coming to help me decorate and began to throw a fit over how he wanted to do it himself. That then ended up in a big fight, and me cancelling the grand surprise.
It all ended in me feeling my night was a disaster and failure.
Thank God today is a new day and will be better. Just makes me sad that Dan and Noah ruined thier surprises....
This takes us to Sunday. Dan started talking about wanting to decorate for Christmas and with the potential of the leak (in his head) not being fixed I didn't want him to carry anything up stairs. So I decided to surprise him and decorate the house myself. Thinking that he would be overjoyed to come home and have the house be all "Christmasy". I had it all worked out to do on Wednesday. Our friend Helen and my dad where both going to come and help. I had it all figured out. I was soo excited it was going to be a grand surprise.
Sunday evening I took some time with Noah and had a talk with him. I explained that he didn't need to be snooping around for gifts. If something was covered up then he was not supposed to be looking at it. If he accidentally found something to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT and act surprised when it was given as a gift. And if I found out that he had been snooping at any ones house, then the gifts he found would go back to the store. That was his ONE warning on the subject. I was very proud of myself. I was very nice about it all. I did you a stern voice, but no yelling. Job well done, ME!
Now we are at Monday. I did just what I said I would do in my first blog post. I did some laundry. (The reason I never did laundry in the first place was because of the steps. I'm fat and have bad knees and the steps seem steep and narrow to me, so I don't like to use them. I generally don't go down stairs for ANYTHING! We had planned that once we moved and had main floor laundry I would then take it over.) Dan read my post yesterday and said he did not mind doing the laundry, so I will do loads as I can. I will fold it all and put it away. I had gone down and done 2 loads and folded what needed to be folded, so I was feeling pretty good! I also had unloaded the dishwasher and re-loaded it so the sink was empty when Dan came home. I had made plans to make dinner until Dan reminded me that we were going to make the Auntie Anne's Pretzel Kit with Noah.
Noah came home from school around 4 and asked to play out side for a bit. I said that was fine. When he was putting on his shoes and I asked him how his day went. He said, "fine". I figured that would be his answer so I asked if anything good happened at school, "no" and if anything bad happened, "no". The he asked, "mom, why are you asking"? "Just because I wanted to know how your day was". Noah, "Ok, you are acting all suspicious". I laughed.
After playing outside for about 30 mins he came in and asked, "What is that Blues back pack in the garage for"? I calmly told him it was a Christmas gift and asked him what was he doing snooping around. Keep in mind we had JUST talked about this the night before. I my mind I pictured myself yelling and screaming and steam blowing out my ears, but I was very nice about it all. He said that he was not snooping. After talking to Dan and doing some investigation, he had to have been snooping to have found it. So he was sent to his room to clean it and for the evening for lying. If there is ONE thing I DO NOT tolerate, it is lying!!!! I even had a nice calm, talk with him, set the timer and gave him 10 minutes to think about it and fess up. He still insisted he was telling the truth. The one good thing was that his room got mostly clean! He did however miss out on the pretzels (we did not make them, saving it for another night) and the movie we had planned on watching with him.
Dan came home and confirmed that Noah was snooping. He then went down stairs to rotate some laundry and took for ever to do. I went and check and he was down stairs moving Christmas boxes. I asked why he was doing that. (He had made plans for his mom to come help bring them up, but I had told her to make an excuse not to be able to. So she did and was going to be coming on Wednesday instead.) I asked where he thought the tree should go, since we were on the topic of Christmas decorations. He then asked who was going to be coming to help me decorate and began to throw a fit over how he wanted to do it himself. That then ended up in a big fight, and me cancelling the grand surprise.
It all ended in me feeling my night was a disaster and failure.
Thank God today is a new day and will be better. Just makes me sad that Dan and Noah ruined thier surprises....
Monday, November 22, 2010
As the old saying goes....
We have all heard it a thousand times, "If momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy". I am starting to find this true. I am also starting to find that, I'm just not happy. I know that I should be. I have 3 wonderful children, who make me smile and and light up my life. I have a nice home, a nice car and van. I get to be a stay at home mommy. I have a wonderful and handsome husband who would and does do everything for me. Maybe that's just it.. HE does everything...
I will be 33 in just a few weeks and when I sit here looking at my life I find that I am selfish, angry, fat and lazy. I don't do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, or cooking. I don't exercise. I try to take care of my kids, but am finding I don't do much of that either. I find I yell and grouch a ton. That is not what I want to be. I WANT to be Suzie Home Maker. I WANT to be that thin, hot lady I once was. I WANT to be that cool mom, the one where all the other kids wish I was their mom. I WANT to have a house that is full of kids all the time. I WANT my husband to be able to come home and not have to do anything, but play with the kids and relax after a long day at work. I WANT to Make My Home Happy!!
So how do I do this? Do I take baby steps to change? Do I just change myself all at once? I think I am going to do some of both. I want to change my mind set. Change my attitude!! While doing that I plan on taking things over one by one. Today I am taking over the dishes and laundry. OK that is two things, but it's a good start.
I have 3 kids. Noah who is 10, Josie who is 2 and Maxx who is almost 1. Noah has ADHD. I find with him I lose my patients very easy and I am very hard on him. I think he feels that since Dan and the babies came along he gets shoved to the side. (I had Noah before I met Dan). To an extent he is right. Two babies ages one and two take a lot of my attention. I tend to lean on Noah to help out too. So Noah is the one I am going to work on first. Take time for him more. Listen to him when he talks to me. Have some me and Noah time. Not ask him to be a big brother and let him be a kid. Be more patient with him. Hug him more. Tell him I love him more. Let him know how proud I am of who he is and is becoming. Let him know how proud I am to be his mom. Be a better mom to him. Be a happy mom for him.
This is going to be my journey of what I did to Making My Home Happy. Let's see if I can do it!
I will be 33 in just a few weeks and when I sit here looking at my life I find that I am selfish, angry, fat and lazy. I don't do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, or cooking. I don't exercise. I try to take care of my kids, but am finding I don't do much of that either. I find I yell and grouch a ton. That is not what I want to be. I WANT to be Suzie Home Maker. I WANT to be that thin, hot lady I once was. I WANT to be that cool mom, the one where all the other kids wish I was their mom. I WANT to have a house that is full of kids all the time. I WANT my husband to be able to come home and not have to do anything, but play with the kids and relax after a long day at work. I WANT to Make My Home Happy!!
So how do I do this? Do I take baby steps to change? Do I just change myself all at once? I think I am going to do some of both. I want to change my mind set. Change my attitude!! While doing that I plan on taking things over one by one. Today I am taking over the dishes and laundry. OK that is two things, but it's a good start.
I have 3 kids. Noah who is 10, Josie who is 2 and Maxx who is almost 1. Noah has ADHD. I find with him I lose my patients very easy and I am very hard on him. I think he feels that since Dan and the babies came along he gets shoved to the side. (I had Noah before I met Dan). To an extent he is right. Two babies ages one and two take a lot of my attention. I tend to lean on Noah to help out too. So Noah is the one I am going to work on first. Take time for him more. Listen to him when he talks to me. Have some me and Noah time. Not ask him to be a big brother and let him be a kid. Be more patient with him. Hug him more. Tell him I love him more. Let him know how proud I am of who he is and is becoming. Let him know how proud I am to be his mom. Be a better mom to him. Be a happy mom for him.
This is going to be my journey of what I did to Making My Home Happy. Let's see if I can do it!
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